Manzoku and Black Mist

I'll add more along these lines later...But yeah. I suspect it's just the three months since seeing her...But, idk. I think the reason my mind wanders, so to speak, is due to my lack of experiences; that is, I've only gone out with three people ever. By comparison, I dare say that most people, before finding said person they consider they might go further than just a regular relationship, have dated double digit amounts, or at least very close to. Heck, let's scrap the first one for sake of argument, since that only lasted a few weeks and I didn't really know what the hell I was doing. That means, I've only been with 2 females (and, as things stand, it'll probably stay that way). It's a weird situation to be in, as I have so little room for comparison/ have already found said person potentially. Not that there is anything wrong with that; hell, things couldn't really have worked out much better than things have. But nevertheless...I just find myself nitpicking things here and there that could be better, pretty much all of which she has no control over. At the same time, I see certain other females and wish she(being the initial she, not the females mentioned here) had those physical features. And it bothers me that I think that. Every single time. Again, I suspect the problem is that I've only been with two females, and thus haven't sort of had my fill of different relationships. Now, that being said, at the same time I think of the physical features, I realize all the baggage/reasons why I wouldn't necessarily want to, in a theoretical sense, date that person. Plus, I realize the COPIOUS amounts of positives that I've experienced in my current relationship. Intelligent, almost as competitive as I am (and that is saying something), playful, hard-working, pretty hot (I think part of it too is, still, the clothes thing at times. Not that it is a big deal, relatively speaking, of course), emotionally stable, trustworthy, etc. If one weighed the good vs. the "bad" (there isn't really anything bad at all...rather just stuff that would make things "perfect"[again, I don't have the experience to realize that seeking perfection is a really fucking stupid way of going about things]), the good would crush the "bad" into subatomic particles. I think I just need to learn to be satisfied with how good things are, and not worry so much about how things could be better with person X or Y; that being said, it should be noted that "satisfied" does not equal "settling" (in terms of connotation). Also, it's not like I don't feel bad for having these thoughts, particularly when they're unchangeable things (sure, a cup size higher would be cool, but really, is it that big a deal? It sure has hell shouldn't be, vs. everything else). Plus, to look at the reverse, I'm no perfect guy myself for fricks' sake.Meh. I'll probably ask AC about it at some point, as far as if other people have similar thoughts (I suspect they do). Until then....


Also, shells are a frickin' pain in the ass to purchase (I don't want a pound of shells, kthanx).